


What Can I Do?

by obs3ss1ons



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Future Fic, Gen, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22914649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obs3ss1ons/pseuds/obs3ss1ons
Summary: After Charlie graduates and goes off to college, Danny thinks he needs to make a change. Steve, of course, disagrees.
Relationships: Junior Reigns/Tani Rey, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	What Can I Do?

**Author's Note:**

> This is set roughly eight years from current canon, right after Charlie graduates high school.
> 
> It can be read as either McDanno friendship or an established/beginning of relationship, whichever you choose.

The morning started out quiet. Steve woke up to an empty house. Which wasn’t too weird. Maybe Danny had an appointment he forgot to mention. It’s not like they told each other every little thing. At least, not anymore.

So Steve went through his usual routine. When Danny still hadn’t shown up by the time he left for work, Steve sent him a quick message. Concern crept in once he reached the palace and hadn’t received a reply. He double checked – the Camaro wasn’t there. Danny didn’t go in early, then.

“Hey, Boss,” Tani greeted when he walked into the office.

He nodded once and asked, “You seen Danny this morning?”

She shook her head. “He’s your roommate.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, but he left before I woke up, and he’s not answering my texts.”

“Did he have an appointment or something?” she inquired.

“That’s what I’m hoping. If he did, he didn’t tell me.”

“Well Junes and I don’t tell each other about everything we do, and we’re married,” Tani pointed out.

“Where is Junior, anyway?”

Tani stood up taller, pride showing in her stance. “He’s at school with Maya. They’re having career day, and she offered Junior up as one of the guest speakers."

“I don’t remember him saying anything about that,” Steve responded. Did anyone on the team tell him anything anymore?

But Tani’s smile grew. “That’s because he didn’t know until this morning, when she gave him the flyer and told him her teacher was excited to hear his speech.”

Steve chuckled. “That girl is more and more like you every day.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It sometimes is,” Steve told her as he headed for his office. He could hear her laughter even as the door closed. When he reached his desk, the smile on his lips faded. An envelope waited for him, his name scrawled on it in Danny’s unmistakable handwriting. Hesitantly, Steve opened it and unfolded the paper inside. Then he read:

_Steve,_

_I decided to take a page from your own book of goodbyes and leave you with only a note. I will be decent enough to tell you that I am fine. No secret mission or undercover op or anything like that. I just decided that it’s time I start the next chapter of my life._

_I moved to Hawaii to be close to Grace. I stayed for several reasons, though I admit I had ample opportunities to leave over the years. Now with both Grace and Charlie starting new lives on the mainland, I feel like I can return home._

_I’ve already cleared my retirement (yes, retirement) with the governor. Everything is settled. Eric will bring the Camaro by this evening. The paperwork to finish the transfer to your name is in the glovebox. Enjoy driving it for me._

_Tell everyone I’m sorry to do it this way, and I’ll miss them. I’ll miss you most of all. Despite everything, I still love you. I always will._

_Danno_

A knock sounded on the office door, and Steve quickly wiped away the tears gathered in his eyes. He cleared his throat and schooled his expression before looking up. Quinn opened the door, opened her mouth, then shut it and stepped inside. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve managed to get out, though he could hear the emotion in his voice.

Quinn eyed him like she didn’t believe him but said, “Adam got us a lead on the thieves. Apparently one of them is renting a house on the North Shore.”

Steve nodded and slid the letter back into the envelope. “Go check it out. Have Tani run point.”

“You’re not going?”

“I have something to take care of,” he explained as he stood. “Keep me in the loop, though.”

Quinn nodded and left. Seconds later, Steve watched his team head out. He immediately grabbed his keys and left the office himself, the letter firmly in his grasp. The brief thought of tracking Danny’s phone rushed through his mind. But he didn’t need to. If Danny planned to leave the island that evening, Steve knew exactly where to look for him.

And he was right. Steve saw the Camaro as soon as the outlook came into view. He stopped beside it and stared at the back of the man sitting on the wall. No head turn to see who would be joining him. No movement to show he noticed at all. But then, he probably expected Steve to show up. At least, Steve hoped his best friend knew him well enough to expect a letter wasn’t enough.

Again gripping the envelope, Steve forced himself out of the truck. He cautiously walked toward Danny, stopping a couple feet away. Apparently his friend had heard him since he said, “Took you longer than I thought it would.”

Steve started to reply but found he couldn’t get any words out. He moved closer and set the letter down beside Danny. His partner – he refused to ever think otherwise – looked down at it and back out to the ocean. Steve sat down on the wall, facing the same direction. He cleared his throat and asked, “You going to tell me what’s going on?”

Danny tapped the letter. “I explained already.”

“Yeah, you basically said that you never saw Hawaii as your home,” Steve choked out. “So why wait until now?”

“I didn’t want to take Charlie from his home,” Danny told him without any emotion. “I did that to Grace, and I couldn’t do it again.”

Steve sniffled in an attempt to keep his tears at bay. “So, Charlie was the only one keeping you here. Even after all this time?”

Their gazes finally met. Steve could see a war of emotions in his friend’s eyes even if he tried to hide it. Still, he waited for Danny to answer, “I didn’t always think so.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Danny’s shoulders sagged as he faced the ocean once more. “I used to feel like I belonged. For a long time, I truly believed that I had a home here.”

“When did that change?” Steve questioned, fearful of the answer.

“I’m not really sure,” Danny admitted. “I just started noticing little things that built up over time until I couldn’t deny it anymore.”

Steve shifted his hips. He’d never understand how his partner could sit on the concrete wall for hours. Continuing the conversation, he asked, “Is it something I did? Is it because we live together?”

“Partially,” Danny replied. Even though Steve asked the question, he hadn’t actually expected that answer. But then Danny added, “Like I said, little things. How tight you are with your money, to the point I’m always spending mine. The things you complain about repeatedly. The lying.”

At that, Steve offered an apologetic look. “I’ve said I’m sorry-"

Danny held up a hand to cut his words off. “I know. But it still hurts. It hasn’t just been you. Lou pretty much stopped talking to me after the kids broke up. Tani and Junior don’t have time for anyone but Maya anymore, or each other before they had her. I could keep going, but it just seems like everyone’s moved on with life. Now it’s my turn.”

Steve didn’t know what to say. The dynamic of the team had changed over the years. Tani and Junior’s marriage and starting a family. Lou retiring. Adam remarrying. Quinn stepping up and quickly becoming a candidate to take over if Tani didn’t want it. Even Steve had started putting things in place so he and Danny could retire. At least part-time anyway.

“I haven’t,” Steve finally said into the silence they’d fallen into.

“You haven’t, what?”

“I haven’t moved on. Forward. Whatever.”

Danny lifted a leg and balanced his ankle on the other knee. “I know you’ve been training Tani to take over. You haven’t been as sneaky as you think.”

Steve shook his head. “I didn’t try to hide that. She’ll be perfect.”

“But not me?”

“What?”

“I’m the second in command. I’ve always taken over when you weren’t there,” Danny reminded him. “Yet when it’s time for you to step down or whatever, you skipped right over me. And that’s yet another thing that proves I don’t belong here.”

Steve turned to face Danny as much as possible. “What are you talking about? I didn’t skip over you! The plans I’ve been making _include you_. As in you and I retiring like you’ve wanted for the past decade. You can’t take over if you’re not there, either.”

“So, your plan was to force me into retirement.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Steve confessed. “I just knew that you wanted it, and I’m realizing I’m ready for it.”

Danny turned his head and stared at Steve as if trying to read his mind. It lasted so long Steve felt uncomfortable. He tried not to squirm under the scrutiny. Eventually Danny spoke, but it didn’t ease Steve’s mind. “Do you realize how it made me feel to watch you choose Tani over me? After being your partner, your backup, for nearly twenty years? And then to bring it up yet again, all of the lies? I still don’t know that I know everything. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like I do.”

“Danny, I’m sorry, okay?” Steve pleaded. “I never meant to break your trust, or make you feel that way. I guess…I guess I haven’t changed as much as I thought. I’m still trying to do everything on my own.”

“Nobody deserves to handle the things you have on their own. And you wouldn’t have needed to if you’d let me be there with you,” Danny explained. “That’s…that’s why I need to leave. I need to be around people who will be there for each other. People who need me as much as I need them.”

“I need you, Danny,” Steve said, not bothering to stop the tears from falling any longer.

Yet Danny didn’t seem convinced. “I wish I could believe that, but you’ve proven otherwise.”

“Then how can I make you believe me?” Steve asked. “I honestly don’t know how to live without you. With everything I’ve gone through, everyone and everything I’ve lost, I’ve always known I had you to lean on.”

“But you don’t, Steve,” Danny pointed out softly. “You haven’t leaned on me in years.”

Shaking his head, Steve claimed, “Why do you think I asked you to live with me permanently? The times when I changed my plans to spend time with you? It was because I needed the comfort only my best friend can provide. I was scared to be alone. I’m still scared to be alone. And now, based on what you wrote in that letter, I’m going to have to face my biggest fear. One I’ve never admitted to anybody, including myself.”

They stared at each other. Steve wiped away his tears. He let Danny see him. His vulnerability. His fear. Everything he’d said was true. He had no idea how to make it through life without the safety of knowing Danny was there for him. Even if he did retire and give up the daily dangers, he still faced the consequences of his past. The thought of facing that without his partner? Steve’s body visibly shook at the possibility.

Danny placed a gentle hand on Steve’s knee. His voice was just as gentle as he said, “I don’t want to leave you, Steve. I don’t want to be added to that list. But you have to understand, you’ve pushed me away. Even with us living in the same house, I feel alienated by you.”

Steve rested his hand on top of Danny’s. “I’m so sorry, Danny. Please, let me fix this. I can’t do it without you.”

“I don’t know how I can,” Danny told him. “The governor already signed off on my retirement. My plane leaves in a few hours. Ma and Pop are expecting me, have a room ready for me.”

Refusing to back down and lose his best friend forever, Steve thought for a moment before suggesting, “Go to New Jersey, just for a while. Spend time with your family. I can put my retirement through while you’re gone. The governor is probably expecting it anyway. By the time you get back home, I’ll have the task force set up in Tani’s capable hands.”

“And what about us?” Danny asked cautiously.

Steve paused, then tried on a weak smile. “We could open a restaurant?”

“Hell no,” Danny laughed out.

“We’ll figure it out, Danny,” Steve declared. “I just know I have a rough road ahead of me, and I can’t go through it without you.”

Danny looked out at the ocean and sighed. When he faced Steve again, a small smile touched his lips. “I think I can agree to that. Especially since I probably would’ve spent the rest of my life worrying about you anyway.”

Stilted, watery laughter filled the air around them. Danny held out his arms, and Steve didn’t hesitate to fall into them. More tears threatened to fall, but this time for a good reason. Danny was staying. He wasn’t losing his best friend. He wasn’t going to be alone.

The envelope fluttered to the ground below them. Seeing it brought a stray thought to Steve’s mind, and he pulled back. “Hey, Danno? Do I still get the Camaro?”

Danny punched his arm without any effort behind it. “I need a car if I’m staying. Though it would save my wallet if you’re the one responsible for paying for all the damage you inflict on it.”

“But there won’t be any damage after I retire,” Steve pointed out.

The smile on Danny’s lips grew. “I like the sound of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is another Danny threatening to leave story. To be clear, if Danny/Scott ever leaves the show, I won't be the only one devastated. I do think over the last ten seasons that Danny has been treated horrible by the people claiming to be his ohana. He deserves better. This was sort of my way for him to express as much to Steve, nearly twenty years later than he should.
> 
> Also, while writing this I realized it walks the fine line of are they or are they not a couple much like the show tends to do. Sorry to anyone who is frustrated by it.


End file.
